Saturday, June 12, 2010

Post No. 47

His name is Ben.

I met him in July when we both worked together at a four week long summer camp. I was 16 and he was a year younger, but about a foot and a half taller than me, which I loved. I never really thought anything would happen between us, besides flirting, because I’m terrible at picking up signals and making the first move. We hung out all the time at the camp and flirted whenever we got the chance. He would tickle me or touch my waist in a way that gave me butterflies. His friend told me not to get attached to him because he would only hurt me, but didn’t listen. Ben was funny and we got along together so well and he was one of the cutest boys I had ever seen.

After four weeks of constant flirting it was time to go home. As I was walking back to the cabins I saw him coming up the main road so I asked him to help me carry luggage to my car. As we were walking together I gathered my courage said to him, “I know I’ve waited until it’s too late, but I really like you. ..And I hope I didn’t make things weird.” He stopped walking and gave me a serious look and I thought I’d said something wrong. He said, “I really like you too,” and I felt so relieved. We got my stuff loaded in the car and met up with the rest of the staff. A few people were going to Sonic so Ben and I tagged along.

Once we got there he started texting me non-stop. He kept saying we should make out in the bathroom but I was so nervous. I’d never made out with anyone before. I wouldn’t know what to do. I played off all his offers as best I could, but some part of me kept saying that if I didn’t act now I wouldn’t ever get the chance again.

Towards the end of the visit to Sonic I went to the bathroom and accidentally left my phone on the sink. Ben went to the bathroom after me and as soon as I realized I’d left my phone I rushed towards the restroom. I banged on the door in a panic. I would be so dead if I lost another phone. Ben opened the door and let me inside. I walked over, put my phone in my pocket and awkwardly said, “I, uh, left my phone.” Ben just stood by the door and didn’t say anything. As I started to leave the restroom Ben shut the door and began walking towards me. I stopped. I felt so nervous all over again. I knew exactly what he was going for.

I backed up as he went forward and eventually I had my back against a wall. Ben stopped inches in front of me. He had such an intense look in his eyes that is burned into my memory. I felt myself blushing, which never happens. Very slowly Ben put his hands on either side of my face and leaned down to kiss me.

His lips were so soft against mine and I loved the feeling of his hands caressing my face. As we deepened the kiss his arms wrapped around me and I moved my hands to wrap around his neck. He ran his hands all over my body; through my hair, down the sides of my waist, over the front of my chest, around my back and finally up to my face again. He gripped me like his life depended on it, and in that moment I had never felt more wanted and needed. His kisses were so intense; they made me see sparks and tingles ran up and down my spine. My whole body was on fire. I felt so heavy but light at the same time. It was like a giant adrenaline rush. We stayed like that for what felt like hours, just kissing and exploring each other and immersing ourselves in the arms of someone new. He made me feel a way I didn’t even know was possible. After the many kisses were over we pulled away breathless. Our lips looked like they were stained red. He held me for a while and then we went our separate ways.

I felt those tingles the entire ride home.

That was a year and a half ago. He always talked about us meeting up again, but things would interfere with our plans at the last minute. I saw him again last summer when we worked for the same camp. It was awkward being around him again and he barely talked to me. Needless to say, there was not a repeat performance. Even still, I will always remember that kiss in the Sonic bathroom. He was my last kiss. I haven’t been kissed like that since, and I don’t think I ever will be.

-via fuckyeahkissing


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